Making healthier choices must start with the respect that we are willing to give ourselves. Here’s a refreshingly raw and honest perspective on why learning to love yourself can only lead to better paths forward.
BY: RACHEL HARVEST, MS, RD, CDN
Dear YOU,
I could sit here and write a story about health and wellness and “how to’s” for losing weight and balancing your life.
You could sit there and read it and get all jazzed up about how you’re going to go out and become the fit, sexy amazing human you resolved to be January 1st (and every January, every Monday and every inspired moment of your life).
BUT YOU WON’T DO IT.
Because there’s a key component to this “goal-setting, resolution-making, push yourself to get it perfect” way of being that you’re missing.
You aren’t coming from being ok with yourself, the way you are and the way you are NOT, right now, in THIS moment.
You want to fix it, get it right and BECOME who you want to be.
Whoa, my dear…way to slap who you ARE in the face…
Enter Project: Love, Me.
Project Love, Me is not cheesy.
It’s not bubbles and hearts and unicorns.
It is, however, practical and magical.
It’s a new way to look at yourself and all of your actions and all of your goals and your resolutions.
Each and every one of these is a way for you to make up with, honor and love the heck out of you, yourself.
It’s a day-to-day, moment-to-moment love letter to yourself.
To me. From me. For me. By me.
Love, Me.
So you want to be fit and healthy? You want to look a certain way? You want to change or learn or grow etc etc etc.?
Q: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU NOW?
A: HONEY, NOTHING.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s just you, in your own way, saying you aren’t enough.
And, frankly, there’s something there for you in every instance you say you aren’t enough.
Yep. You get something from every judgement and story you have about yourself where you say you’re missing something.
That’s not who you are though.
And the scale of enough?
The only scale you’re measuring from is the one you’ve created for yourself.
Sure, you base it on what people outside of you are saying. You base it on others’ scales, others’ opinions, others’ ideas that they made up too, to make up for where they aren’t enough.
But what do YOU want for YOU?
When you’re solid in your shoes and owning who you ARE, those goals, resolutions, desires and expectations brighten your light. They are absolutely EASY to rise to and fulfill.
And when you’re thinking about what you want, it’s not the size you want to be, the way you want to look or how you want to noticed…
It’s how you want to feel.
Do you want to feel FREE?
CONFIDENT?
HEALTHY?
How about AT PEACE?
Once you’ve got how you WANT to FEEL down, then you can plan some actions that’ll have you feeling that way!
Clear your schedule.
Find things to fill it with that excite you.
Look in the mirror long and hard, until all of the “you should”, “you could”, “you would have ifs…” dissipate and it’s just you and yourself spending time TOGETHER.
Fall in love with you.
Find people to support you that inspire you to connect with yourself and grow your own wings.
Build a community that shares your desires.
Go to the people who want to feel like you want to feel.
Let go of those who want to stay judging, assessing and simply, believing they are not enough.
Right now, your not-so-good-at-loving-and-accepting-YOU self is choosing to stay in the places where things don’t work, where you get hurt and you are living in suffering.
It seems easier to just live with it..
UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO BE BRAVE.
In those moments where you feel shaky because you’re about to go for it, where you want to cry because *you* are working so hard and it isn’t working out the way you’d hoped, where you *speak* your deepest hopes and dreams *when they might fall* dull on deaf ears… all those times, you get the chance to be brave.
You get to stop and see what you wanted to fill. You get to stop and see what you might not have known you thought was missing. You get to stop and soothe and love yourself for dreaming. You get to heal and then, You get to start a new dream.
Enter Goals. Resolutions. Desires. Dreams.
NOW, IF YOU’RE INTO THIS STORY I KNOW YOU’RE ONE OF US… THE RECOVERING PERFECTIONISTS.
There are many people who need a push and coaching and to be “herded” to actually show up and do what they say they are going to do. Those people need the typical “do what it takes” inspiration.
For us, “doing what it takes” is about what you need to do to heal, honor, respect and love yourself.
You show up. You do your due diligence. You put your best foot forward. You get it done.
And when you don’t, you are the sorriest, most apologetic, self-deprecating person, in that moment, on this earth.
You know why?
You don’t show up for yourself.
Knock it off.
You’re amazing.
Really, you are.
Get that.
You’re going to do every last thing you say you’ll do.
How about adding loving yourself, in every moment, to that list?
Honor yourself by looking to see where you’re overextending yourself or getting stuck losing time practicing negative self talk. Plan to sit and be with yourself, have a leisurely breakfast…enjoy the start of your day, the middle and the end. Give yourself time for you.
If you don’t “get it right”, acknowledge what you’ve learned. Imagine yourself before you started, look where you are now, give yourself a hug and…start again.
Do what it takes to love and nourish YOU. Go against that loud ass voice that tells you more More MORE. Stop and see. Really….look.
ADMIRE WHO YOU ARE
It’s not just your body.
IT’S YOUR MIND, YOUR HEART, AND YOUR SOUL YOU HAVE TO FEED WELL TO FEEL THE PEACE OF BEING PERFECT EXACTLY AS YOU ARE.
That’s the golden ticket.
See how not cheesy it is?
It’s practical.
Loving YOU and honoring the #1 player in your life (the one who’s living it) is your key to reaching your goals.
How you feed yourself and take care of your body is practice in how much you’re willing to grow in loving yourself.
Start today.
Love, Me
HEADER IMAGE: BERNARD GABRIEL
Rachel Harvest, MS, RD, CDN is a NYC-based Registered Dietitian, behavioral health nutritionist, and wellness coach. With her philosophy centered around the love we need to give ourselves before finding our health and happiness, Rachel is on a mission to help you dig deep within to create the life you want for yourself. To work on you with somebody who loves you no matter what, visit Rachel at The Harvest Method.