HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOURSELF AND MOVE FORWARD WHEN YOU FEEL NEGATIVE

While there’s no avoiding negative things that arise in life, it’s how we work through them that determines our future. Here’s how staying connected with yourself helps you find your way.


BY: EMILY FONNESBECK, RD, CD, CLT

When you feel stuck in a negative situation, it can be difficult to know what to do in the moment. But rather than turning away, staying aware and making sense of how you are feeling can be a constructive way to help you move forward.  

It starts by identifying what has led you to feel the way you feel or behave in ways you may be unfamiliar with. It’s about working with a problem at its root, rather than putting a band-aid on the feeling or the behavior.  

Let’s break down a common sequence of events:

  1. An event triggers a sense of disconnect with your expectations of yourself or others, leading to unfamiliarity and discomfort.
  2. It amplifies negative self-talk, comparisons to others, preoccupation with what others think about you, false assumptions, harsh judgment, isolation, and feeling lost in the world.
  3. This leads to emotional distress that may manifest itself in many ways – emotional eating, disordered eating or eating disorder behaviors, depression, anxiety, OCD, other potential mental health conditions.

So what exactly happened? The initial loss of connection with yourself, which becomes the root cause of the events that follow.

On any given day, situations may arise which tempt you to seek approval or answers from the world. That is why there’s great power in staying connected – it is much easier to challenge negative thoughts about yourself, and reconcile negative actions by others when you are connected to who you really are.

But how do you practice feeling connected to yourself?

First, recognize and write down words that describe how you feel when you feel connected.  Words like peaceful, content, trusting, hopeful, faithful, loving, and connected may help get you started.  Keep it somewhere you can see it if that’s helpful for you.   

Next, identify what it feels like to be disconnected to yourself.  Again, write it down to make a list. Words such as fearful, distrusting, isolated, lacking confidence, anxious, depressed, negative, and judgmental may sound familiar.

Now, identify what regular practices keep you connected to yourself.  For example:

  • Setting an intention
  • Repeating a mantra
  • Positive affirmations
  • Prayer
  • Scripture study
  • Deep breathing
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Embracing foods without rigid rules
  • Moving your body in a way that fosters connection and feeling able-bodied

In the world we live in, we have to fight to stay connected to ourselves.  Make the conscious decision each day to stay connected.

Because after all:

“When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” — Eckhart Tolle

Adapted from the original article.
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Emily Fonnesbeck, RD, CD, CLT is a Utah-based private practice Registered Dietitian. Instead of creating unnecessary restrictions, Emily focuses on helping individuals become confident and in charge of their own well-being through Intuitive Eating and Mindful Living. She is a strong believer and advocate for helping people become capable individuals who are confident in taking care of themselves.  Make a visit and read more from Emily.

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